The next time your daughter complains that you nag too much, tell her ‘mother knows best!’
Though arguing with your teenage daughter can result in a door slammed in your face, studies show that pushing high expectations can actually set her up for future success in life.
The study, conducted at the University of Essex, followed schoolgirls aged 13 to 14 from a database of 15,500 pupils. It found that girls with nagging moms have a higher chance of going to college, are more likely to be employed and make a good salary, and are 4% less likely to be pregnant as a teenager.
You know those friends your daughter hangs out with that you don’t exactly approve of? The ones that don’t care about doing their homework or studying? Fear not! According to the study, even if your daughter chooses to associate with lower achievers, her success shouldn’t be impacted, as long as you keep pushing her to excel. If she’s around other high achievers, however, you can lay off just a bit.
Even if your daughter flat-out ignores your reminders, it’s still going to make a positive impact in her life, whether she likes it or not.
Ericka Rascon-Ramirez, a researcher in the study, explains, “In many cases we succeeded in doing what we believed was more convenient for us, even when this was against our parents’ will. But no matter how hard we tried to avoid our parents’ recommendations, it is likely that they ended up influencing, in a more subtle manner, choices that we had considered extremely personal.”
Remember, expecting achievement is nice, but the long-term results don’t really sink in unless your daughter is reminded. Over and over and over.
In other words, don’t hold back when your daughter slacks on her homework or puts off writing that college essay. She might get annoyed with you, but it’s for her benefit in the long-run.
So you see? All that complaining was totally worth it. Now, every time your daughter is confronted with a task or responsibility, she will hear you in her ears. And though she may not like it or appreciate it at the time, it will guide her on the right path. One day, she might even thank you for it!
Negatives of Nagging
Here’s the thing. While nagging does promote success, it also carries some negatives, so it’s important to strike a good balance.
When someone is nagged, for instance, it focuses on what the person is not doing. So make sure the next time you remind your daughter to do something, follow it up with something positive. Maybe she’s done all her chores or helped a younger sibling with homework. You can’t always focus on the negative because it can wear down her self-worth. Also, trust her to do simple tasks, like letting out the dog or feeding the cat. When she’s done a good job, tell her! It’s great for her self-esteem.
Nagging also pushes a sense of control onto your daughter, which never feels good. So instead of forcing her into doing what you want, give her a choice and some consequences. “You can either do your homework, or lose your TV privileges for the night.” This way, you’re reminding her of the task at hand, but also reminding her that she has a choice, which gives her a sense of empowerment.
Still not convinced that nagging is a good thing? Watch this video!