While men typically are visual creatures, finding allure in his partner’s outward appearance, there is more men find attractive than just traits that are physical.  Pretty women, after all, are everywhere.  But not all of them have what men are ultimately looking for in a partner.  What truly stands out to men and makes a lasting impression goes beyond a woman’s body.

Here are 5 non-physical traits that men love in women:

1. Kindness

You don’t have to be a doormat to be kind. You can maintain a healthy sense of self while still showing kindness towards others. And empathy is an appealing trait in anyone, not just women. It fills a person with pride and awe to see the one they love showing compassion and kindness towards others, even strangers.

Furthermore, kindness is a handy tool in relationships to end disagreements. Some women seem to thrive at belittling their men in arguments, cutting them down with biting words and insults. Other women know how to respond first with kindness, but it’s vital that she also knows how to stand up for herself, without insulting the other party. And kindness often will stop an argument in its tracks. You know what they say, after all—kill ‘em with kindness!

2. Sense of Humor

An attractive woman knows how to laugh, and perhaps more importantly, knows how to laugh at herself!  This also means she doesn’t take herself too seriously and is able to occasionally blow off work or meetings without it being a huge deal. A healthy dose of spontaneity makes things exciting, and every once in a while, it’s good to shake up the routine. It keeps things interesting in the relationship.

3. Confident and Goal-Oriented

Setting goals shows and subsequently achieving them indicates a strong sense of confidence. It also shows you know where you stand and where you want to stand.  Confidence and goal-setting are attractive traits because they indicate a woman, or a person in general, knows what they want out of life.

Of course, there is a difference between confident and narcissistic. One acknowledges the needs of others while the other only allows for the self. It’s a wonderful quality, for a woman, while knowing she is worthy of respect, doesn’t have an inflated ego to spoil it.

4. Emotionally Mature and Responsible

Emotional responsibility is incredibly attractive to men. They want a woman who doesn’t blame others for her short-comings, who doesn’t manipulate others with tears, anger and tantrums to illicit a response. While not all women exhibit these negative traits, and to be sure, some men exhibit them as well, using your emotions to try to control others is immature and thoroughly unattractive. If you know how to take responsibility for your own emotions and not project them on others, you indeed possess a highly attractive quality.

5. Strong Communication Skills

The ability to have deep, meaningful conversations is an attractive quality. But it goes beyond that. Men, moreover people in general, prefer it when they don’t have to read someone’s mind to understand what they want. It saves a lot of grief when you speak your mind and express your needs and desires. It’s not fair to insist you don’t want anything for you birthday while still expecting him to surprise you with a gift anyway. This goes along with the territory of number four of this list. Know what you want and don’t resort to mind games to get it.

Being able to communicate also lends itself to being able to diffuse conflict in a quick and effective manner. And strong communicators are also strong listeners—they know how to hear all sides of an argument before speaking themselves.

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