5 Simple Ways to Spot Someone With Hidden Motives

People come into our lives for all sorts of different reasons. Some leave a positive mark, while others are surrounded by negativity. True friends can be difficult to find. People with hidden motives are often able to hide their selfish agendas well, and we don’t realize how they’ve used us or what they’ve taken from us, until it’s too late.

Here are five ways to spot someone with hidden motives in order to protect yourself from being manipulated:

1. You Notice Unusual Body Language and Eye Contact

Those with hidden motives make a habit out of lying. Liars will try to remain cool, calm and collected, but their body language and eye contact can give them away. They will seem uncomfortable, have a hard time looking you in the eye, and may be fidgety. Excessive blinking is also a sign of lying. It seems as though the liar is trying to clear the cloud over their eyes that is keeping them from being truthful.conversation

2. They Always Seem to Talk About the Same Thing

While people with hidden motives may be able to slither their way into your life, as they become more needy or frustrated, it will show. Whatever their true agenda is, they’ll likely bring it up every time you’re together. They’ll keep talking about what they want or what they want you to do, trying to convince you that it’s a good idea. Instead of caving in, let them know that you won’t cave in. To do this in a subtle way, change the subject as many times as needed.

3. You Have a Negative Gut Feeling About Them

While we often brush off that little voice we all have inside our heads, it’s usually right. After you’ve finished speaking to or hanging out with a manipulative person, you may feel frustrated, confused and misunderstood. If you have a gut feeling that something is off, don’t ignore it. One way to spot someone with hidden motives is how that person makes you feel. If you experience negative emotions after speaking to this person, it’s a warning sign that shouldn’t be ignored.confused

4. They Use Tactics to Persuade You

People with hidden motives live like they are playing a game. Their goal is to manipulate you, in order to win and get what they want. They’ll likely use different methods of persuasion, and if you look closely, you’ll start to see the theme of their game. Don’t let yourself get sucked in. Pay attention to their attempts at manipulation, but refuse to act.

5. You Are Never the Focus of the Conversation

Manipulative people are only focused on what they want and how they are going to get it. They may pretend to be interested in you or your personal life, but somehow the conversation always turns to them and their needs. Once you realize that someone in your life has hidden motives, you can make a decision to cut the negativity out of your life, or simply clear the air and tell them that you aren’t going to do what they want. Someone with a hidden agenda will have no problem using you, hurting you or taking from you, so it’s best to keep that person out of your life.puppet

Sources:
Power of Positivity
Elev8
David Wolfe
Manipulative-People

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3 comments
Melina - June 6, 2016

Thanks

Reply
John - June 9, 2016

All five of these also describe people who have ASD and are not out to manipulate you.
1. Unusual body language and little or no eye contact – Check.
2. Obsessive tendencies – Check.
3. “you may feel frustrated, confused and misunderstood” – Check
4. Highly competitive – Check
5. Difficulty understanding the emotions of others – Check

Perhaps confronting the issues you have with someone instead of cutting them out might be a better option. If you are dealing with someone with ASD and have decided from this list that they are actually trying to manipulate you then you have done them a disservice.

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Deanna C. Kennedy - July 21, 2016

This article describes at least 3 people I am subordinate to at my work. They make the work lives of those around them a living hell, but are so manipulative and careful at spinning truths, it’s hard to prove anything. I plan on giving my 2 week notice soon. My blood pressure is through the roof. I love what I do for a living, but hate going to work.

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