The concept of an extroverted introvert can be a bit confusing. Most people expect extroverts to be outgoing and fun, while expecting introverts to be shy and reclusive,  so how can someone be both? An extroverted introvert falls somewhere in the middle of the two categories, and they often have an unusual mix of traits.

Extroverted introverts are unique and commonly misunderstood. With mixed moods and emotions, it can be difficult to decipher how they’re feeling. A loud, crowded party can either energize an extroverted introvert or bore them. They have an outgoing side, but it may become drained more quickly than others. Witnessing a mood swing or an attitude change in someone with this type of personality can be slightly mind-boggling. If you know someone who is an extroverted introvert, chances are, here’s what they want you to know:

1. Being quiet doesn’t mean they don’t want to talk to you

Extroverted introverts may have a ton of things running through their mind that they’d love to talk to you about, but they’re worried that they won’t interest you. They’d rather be a listener, to learn about the things you love and enjoy talking about.

2. Being around people doesn’t mean they want to talk

Here’s where it gets confusing. Talking and socializing can often require a lot of effort for an extroverted introvert. Sometimes they just like being around people. Don’t assume that they’re unhappy just because they’re quiet.

3. Let them know ahead of time if new friends are coming along

Extroverted introverts are not closed off to meeting new people, but they like to mentally prepare themselves to socialize. If you’re bringing new friends along, let them know ahead of time.

4. They need their alone time, but they do get lonely

People with this personality desperately value their alone time, but it can be hard to balance being alone with feeling lonely. They might want to go out because they feel alone, but they don’t want to leave the comfort of their home to do so.

5. After a long social session, they need to recharge

An extroverted introvert will happily socialize with other people, but after a party or a few hours of socializing, they need alone time to recharge their batteries.

6. They’d rather not be publicly praised

Extroverted introverts are outgoing yet calculated, so they often end up with a “leader of the group” label. They can make decisions and stand up and talk when they need to, but they’d rather not hear words of praise. They usually prefer silent praise for a job well done.

7. They get mad at themselves easily

When a friend is begging an extroverted introvert to go out and they just can’t find the social motivation, you can bet they feel bad about it. They hate to let their friends down, and often drag themselves out to keep the people they love happy.

8. Public but relaxed spots are their favorites

Coffee shops, cafés and libraries are some of their favorite places to be. They like being around people, even if they’re strangers. They can relax without having to worry about socializing with the people around them.

9. They’re constantly struggling to control their introverted side

It’s frustrating for an extroverted introvert when they realize that they’re starting to withdraw. When they’re in a crowd and they become overwhelmed, their instinct is to retreat back into their own minds. It’s hard for them to control their introverted instincts and force a social response.

10. If they like you, they really like you

It can be difficult for an extroverted introvert to find friends they can connect with who understand them. If they’re willing to spend their time and energy with you, it’s because they truly enjoy your company.

h/t: expanded consciousness