Most of us have witnessed or have been part of an argument that’s gotten out of hand. When emotions are running high, people say and do things out of hurt, anger or frustration that they later wish they could take back. An important part of being in a healthy relationship is being able to disagree while keeping your cool. Saying something to intentionally hurt or demean your partner isn’t going to solve the problem. In fact, it could do irreversible damage. The next time you find yourself in an argument with your partner, remember to steer clear of these key phrases.
Here are eight sentences you should never say in a relationship:
1. “You’re Overreacting”
Telling your partner that he or she is overreacting suggests that their feelings don’t matter. If they’re upset, their emotions are already running high. Don’t make things worse by invalidating the way that they feel. Instead, acknowledge their pain, frustration or anger. Be an ear to listen when they need it the most.
2. “Just Drop It”
Sometimes walking away to cool down is the right move. But saying “Just drop it” in the middle of an argument isn’t going to solve the problem. If things are getting too heated, as your partner if the two of you can take a break. But don’t shut down the discussion completely and make your partner feel unheard.
3. “Maybe We Should Break Up”
Threatening to end the relationship every time there’s an argument is immature, hurtful and manipulative. Don’t hold the relationship hostage in order to get your way. Talk things out like an adult, without making threats to get what you want.
4. “You Don’t Know Anything”
Saying “You don’t know anything” to your partner is the same thing as called them stupid. Do you really need to make your partner feel small or worthless to make yourself feel better? Remember that it’s possible to disagree in a respectful manner, without hurling insults around.
5. “You’re Such A…”
Using this sentence, followed by anything hurtful or demeaning, is a clear sign that you are simply trying to upset your partner. Don’t let an argument escalate this far. You might be able to apologize later on, but you can never take back the hurtful things that you said, and your partner may never forget them.
6. “You’re Being Crazy”
Let’s face it. No one likes to be called crazy. Your partner’s emotions may get the best of them from time to time, but that doesn’t give you the right to call them crazy. If your partner is upset, ask them to calmly share their feelings with you and explain how they see the situation, instead of simply ignoring how they feel.
7. “It’s Fine”
If it’s not fine, don’t pretend it is. Hiding your true feelings isn’t going to help anything. If you’re upset, you have to be willing to talk things through with your partner if your relationship is going to last. Holding in your emotions and running away from the problem is never the answer.
8. “You Let Me Down”
If your partner lets you down, there’s a better way to let them know then by simply telling them they are a disappointment. Explain exactly how they upset you and why you feel let down. Making your partner feel guilty isn’t part of a healthy relationship. Talk about the situation and discuss what could be done differently in the future.