At this, the start of a new year, chances are many people have their plate full of resolutions they are working towards. And if online dating app usage is any indicator, those resolutions might include finding a relationship for many.
But stop. Hold on a second.
What if, instead of focussing on finding someone else to complete them, people concentrated on completing themselves first? What if they spent this year being single instead?
I’ve been single for… ah, yeah let’s not get into that. But one thing that I began to learn in 2015 was how to care for myself even when romantic affection and attention were not present from a long term partner.
One of the opportunities given to those who are single is the chance to figure out how to self-love before expecting someone else to come along and provide fulfillment.
That is still no easy task, but it’s much easier when you don’t have to think “what are we doing this weekend” or “what would my partner like to do this evening?”
If you are single at the start of 2016 and still don’t have a firm grasp of who you are, why not take the chance to get adventurous? Go on spontaneous hikes by yourself. If you have the funds, travel to a breathtaking city with your platonic friends.
It’s much easier to do such things, things that help you discover more about yourself, without the weight of love you’re not quite ready for.
To put it another way, being single allows you to do things that would be incredibly selfish compared to if you are in a partnership. When you’re single and the responsibility for another person’s wellbeing and emotions is not on your shoulder, it can be freeing.
Prepare Yourself For Your Partner
Relationships take much work, especially if the person you click with has hobbies or a personality type that you do not completely understand.
When you’re with another person, so much of your time is dedicated to caring for the other person. It’s much easier to do that when you know who you are and are confident about it. That’s when you’re ready to give yourself wholly to another person, to open yourself up and be vulnerable.
Relationships can be incredibly taxing on the emotions when every little thing your partner says makes you feel insecure because you’re not confident with you yet. It’s part of why young love can be so dramatic – people of that age generally know very little about themselves.
But when you take the time to develop, you can weather things that might otherwise seem like personal attacks.
Enjoy It While It Lasts
The last thing I’ll say is this.
When you are in a relationship later in your life, it’s likely that you will look back at the time you were single in one of two ways.
You’ll either thank yourself for having done some of the things you wanted to do for you before the spouse, and possibly kids, came into your life. Or you’ll regret not having done so.
If you are still single, you’ve got time to figure out which of those perspectives will be yours.