If you’re not an over-thinker, you probably have a hard time understanding someone who is. Being an over-thinker often causes paralyzing anxiety and self-doubt. If you’re in a relationship with an over-thinker, try putting yourself in their shoes. It might help you understand them better. To an over-thinker, nothing is simple.
Here are 11 things to know if you love an over-thinker:
1. Never Tell Your Partner To “Stop Overreacting”
Telling your partner to calm down or to stop overreacting isn’t just pointless, it can also be hurtful. It shows them that you couldn’t possibly understand what they’re going through. It could also cause more overthinking on their part, making things worse.
2. Choose Your Words Wisely
The words you use are important to an over-thinker. They’ll replay them over and over again in their head. Be honest and transparent, and try your best to communicate your feelings with as much clarity as possible so they don’t have to guess what you’re thinking.
3. Be Confident In Your Relationship
An over-thinker might become convinced that the relationship is ending when the slightest hiccup occurs. Let your partner know that you are confident in your relationship, to help reassure them.
4. Know That Your Actions Matter
If your actions don’t line up with your words, an over-thinker will begin to doubt who you are. Make sure your actions are consistent with your words and values.
5. Don’t Push Commitment
Over-thinkers are often slower to commit than others. If you really care about them, give them the time and space they need to work things out. Don’t rush them.
6. Don’t Judge
Let your partner know that you are an ear to listen. Encourage them to think out loud. Let them know that you are there as a non-judgmental listener. This can help increase trust and understanding.
7. Plan Ahead
An over-thinker doesn’t typically enjoy surprises. Plan ahead to help them feel more in control. Being spontaneous might sound romantic, but it’s not always the best idea when you’re in a relationship with an over-thinker.
8. Pay Attention To Detail
An over-thinker is always aware of the details. Being more observant and indulging in your partner’s need for detail will help alleviate some of their anxiety.
9. Show That You Care
To an over-thinker, small things mean the most. Bringing your partner breakfast in bed, grabbing their favorite take-out on your way home or leaving them notes around the house could make their entire week. They will never take small actions for granted.
10. Answer Questions
An over-thinker might need more information than others. When your partner asks questions, be careful not to see them as accusations. Over-thinkers seek answers in order to feel more secure.
11. Accept Them For Who They Are
It’s important to understand that an over-thinker does not have control over the way their brain processes information. Their tendency to over-think is part of them. If you love them, you’ll accept them for who they are.