We’ve always been told that helping others makes us good people. And it does. But the problem with helping the wrong kind of person is that we can be taken advantage of, which leads to feelings of rejection, bitterness, and pain.
Here are 4 types of people you should never help!
#1 – People Who Don’t Value Your Time
There are people out there who will try to take advantage of you. They don’t see you as an individual, but rather as a means to an end. A tool from which they can extract information or bend to their will. Be wary of someone who asks you to lunch, only to end up asking you for something else. Something that otherwise wouldn’t be given for free, like professional advice or computer help. Or it could be someone who calls during your once-a-month date night or even on a holiday. If it happens once, fine. If it happens repeatedly, chances are the person is not valuing your time. And you are allowing it to happen. Remember, your time is valuable!
#2 – People Who Don’t Appreciate Your Help
Have you ever gone out of your way to help someone, only to have that person throw it back in your face? Maybe you offered to feed your neighbor’s cats for free while he was on vacation. Yet, instead of your neighbor expressing gratitude upon his return, he proceeds to criticize you for leaving the bathroom light on, not filling up the cat bowl just right, and, good heavens, why didn’t you think to turn the AC down? If your neighbor doesn’t value the favor you’ve done him or the money you’ve saved him by not having to hire a pet sitter, then he does not appreciate your help.
#3 – People Who Don’t Want Your Help
When we see someone in need, our instinct is to help them. But some people just don’t want to be helped. If you offer a solution to someone else’s problem, and they reject your advice, your best bet is to leave it at that. This person is likely stressed out and persisting the matter will only make things worse. Another person who may not want your help could be someone who engages in a hobby or activity of which you disapprove. Chances are if you attempt to make the person see the error of her ways, it will only push her away further. She might see you as being nosy or even judgmental. Remember, everyone lives by a different value system. Just because someone’s is different than yours doesn’t make it wrong.
#4 – People Who Expect Too Much
Say one your friends has a fight with her boyfriend. She shows up at your house in tears and begs you for advice. You are not a therapist. Or any kind of certified counselor. Say this boyfriend said something demeaning to her. You tell her she needs to tell him that his behavior is unacceptable. That if he doesn’t change his attitude, she will leave him. Your friend agrees, gives you a big hug, and goes on her way. The next morning, your friend calls you again, this time in hysterics. She took your advice, and her boyfriend broke up with her. She blames you, namely for ruining her life, because she never would have given her boyfriend that ultimatum. If you’re not fully qualified to be offering advice, or if there’s a possibility your words could affect the livelihoods and well-beings of others, chances are you shouldn’t be offering it.
Sometimes being helpful is not helpful at all. Check out the video below to learn more!