While failing to crack down on its child abuse problem, the Vatican seems intent on resolving another matter: gluten-free bread.
That’s right: following direct orders from Pope Francis, the church’s Presidents of the Episcopal Conferences were informed via letter that only loafs with gluten, or at least low-gluten, were sacrosanct.
“Hosts that are completely gluten-free are invalid matter for the celebration of the Eucharist,” reads the letter, “Low-gluten hosts (partially gluten-free) are valid matter, provided they contain a sufficient amount of gluten to obtain the confection of bread without the addition of foreign materials and without the use of procedures that would alter the nature of bread.”
Apparently the body of Christ contained glutens. Another striking scientific discovery of the catholic church. https://t.co/TjiR0tT32M
— Lawrence M. Krauss (@LKrauss1) July 9, 2017
The mandate stems from a traditional Catholic belief in a process called “transubstantiation” in which bread consumed at the Eucharist is converted into the “body and blood of Christ.”
Normally, such requests wouldn’t require regulation from the highest echelons of the church, but since the breads are now often sold online and at grocery stores, the Vatican felt a need to emphasize the rules.
This could spell bad news for some Catholics with gluten intolerance, though it seems a small price to pay to have a slice of bread converted into the body and blood of Christ.
Reports that the Vatican has outlawed gluten-free bread are without transubstance, say insiders.
— HaveIGotNewsForYou (@haveigotnews) July 10, 2017
Ironically, though, one of the greatest abominations to the Creator—anti-nature genetically modified organisms—are approved.
“The same Congregation also decided that Eucharistic matter made with genetically modified organisms can be considered valid matter,” reads a report from Radio Vaticana.
The Vatican has outlawed gluten-free communion bread. Well, my plans to become Catholic are now toast.
— Melodi Moon (@MelodiMoon) July 9, 2017
Wine also received a reminder from the Pope, namely that it must be “natural, from the fruit of the grape, pure and incorrupt, not mixed with other substances.”
With approximately 1.2 billion Roman Catholics globally, the new mandate could be a recruitment nightmare for the Church given that gluten-intolerance affects millions of people in America alone.