If you’re in your 20s you may have heard your parents talking about how fast you’ve grown, or heard your grandparents wishing they had more time. If you’re in your 40s or 50s, you might find yourself constantly reminding your children, nieces or nephews to slow down, put down the cell phones and video games, and enjoy life as it happens. We all learn new lessons with each passing year, but there are always some lessons we wish we had learned a bit sooner on in our journey.

Here are six things that women in their 40’s want women in their 20’s to know:

1. Self-Love Comes First

In order for any relationship to be successful, you must first learn to love and accept yourself. From family members to friends or significant others, relationships will have a hard time flourishing if you aren’t first happy with who you are as a person. Take the time to find yourself and figure out who you want to be before looking for someone else to cling to.

2. Find Your Passion

Don’t be afraid to try new things in order to find something you’re passionate about. If you haven’t found it yet, the only way you’re going to discover it is to explore and experience new things. Feed your soul with the things you love in order to nurture your spirit and enhance your creativity.

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3. Remember That You Are Enough

As hard as it is, stop comparing yourself to others, whether they’re the girls on TV or in magazines, or the “popular” girl at school. You don’t need to look like them, talk like them or act like them to be successful, smart, kind or beautiful. You are you. You are unique. And that is more than enough.

4. Forget Society’s Expectations

Don’t feel the need to fit society’s mold of perfection. The expectations of society can be overwhelming and even unreasonable, so throw them out the window and be whoever it is that you want to be. Make a bucket list of your hopes and dreams and work hard to attain them. If society tells you that your dreams are too big, prove them wrong.

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5. Don’t Be Afraid of Change

Fear is our natural response to change, and the only way to alter that is to choose to embrace it. Whether it’s moving, ending a relationship or finding a new job, change can be an excellent way to feel refreshed and motivated. If you feel stuck, move — and learn to embrace it.

6. Stop Caring About the Opinions of Others

Don’t let your friends tell you that the dress you love is ugly. Don’t let your parents pressure you into a job field you aren’t passionate about. Don’t let society get in the way of accomplishing your goals. Keep an open ear and an open mind for the opinions of those you care about, but learn when to do things your own way, if that’s what is best for you. You are in control of your happiness.

h/t: higher perspective